xu wei!!!

moved.

2006-11-09T12:28:00.000+08:00

ive moved here.

friends?

2006-10-29T17:19:00.000+08:00

havent been posting for such a veryveryveeeeeeeryyyyyyy long time, it seemed like time has stopped for me.

i read my own blog. and everyone else's that i care about.

for now, life hasnt been all that good. i dont know when it started, but life for me now is just as grey as my surroundings. no more distinct black and white.

its tiring, you know.
to try to keep up and fit in seamlessly when you feel you're not really welcome.
it feels cheap.
i dont like being in the middle, especially when i feel like im obliged to do something to try keep it together...
i like all of you. its just, HAIIIYAH. wah i say haiyah damn often nowadays.

i hate it when so much is being kept back that misunderstandings start to take root and everyone starts to feel too paiseh to voice out their uncertainties.
everything just seems to blur and you wonder if you even know these pple at all. its just not a good feeling, and its worse when pple just resign to it, dismiss it off as something that'll happen eventually

i hate feeling uncertain, especially when the pple in question are supposedly ur good friends.
so. HAIYAH everybody needs to talk and trash this out

while we still can.

games day

2006-10-09T21:01:00.000+08:00

she said she likes things when they are simple and happy, and that they should always be like that. i couldnt help but think how superficial she was.

such a typical blog would be:" oh i heard electrico live at heeren by chance that day, they were really quite good, but im still not going to buy their album, coz its ex! and cds go out of date. i wish i could just keep them all in a cage or something, so i can listen to them live as and when i like! haha. =)"
doesnt it make u wonder whether the person is capable of something deeper? or does tt person only blog for the sake of the audience, and blogs only wad they want pple to see or think of them. but then. that's all pple are interested in, wad u did for the day and wad u think of others(them?). look at the popular blogs. hmmm.

oh well.

on a lighter note, it was games day today. originally i think we all wanted to just be spectators and slack our butts off, but in the end daniel michelle joyce winnie ruifan hazel xinhui and me went to play captain's ball and tennis later on. and, i dunno, it was quite amusing and good to be as (part of) a class for once. i never had a single game with 06s20 before. and i exercised! after 1000489 weeks.
it was quite a failure, games day. like everyone slunk off to slack and nothing happened to them. they just got away with it.
then it made me think of dunmanhigh times again with 2f and 4a and how good it was then. well at least we werent wasting our time, we were fighting hard and i was amazed at how much effort everyone put in to win as a class. especially with 2f, i really dont think i'ld ever have such a class ever again. even though 06s2o pple are good and harmonious(well sort of) we're still not quite gluey enough. maybe after some time it might happen, but i thought the same with 4a, it just was not quite the same.

i'll never forget one whole day of mixed captain's ball, girls vs guys on mooncake festival in sec 1. then running arnd looking for the clues and teachers as a class.

no wonder we all cried and hugged each other on the last day.though it dint happen for 4a when we graduated.

what times. oh well. better memories ahead, only waiting for me to create!

will you make memories with me? or would you rather relive the past?

art stuff

2006-10-07T23:08:00.000+08:00

currently working on the ambigram ms heng asked me to design.....
www.johnlangdon.net provides A LOT of inspiration. the guy's a master man... made me wonder if i should go look more into typography so i can get better at this. doesnt it look a LOT more promising than the oversaturated manga audience?

then on second thought.... maybe not. SO POSERISH. haha. and its more like wad winnie or shichun might get into. not me.

jack of many trades. loser at most of them. haha.

for once i actually feel like winning something, just to get some recognition. then i can tell my parents, ' look, i got a prize for the "rubbish" u thought i was working on.'
this happens everytime i look at some entries from CERTAIN AEP STUDENTS on deviantart and think 'i could do better than this in secondary sch, wadthehell have they been doing man'. sounds snobbish, yes, but i think its like more of an occupational hazard--aep student(woah, dua pai wor).

and dont blame me for intruding on them, its always good to know more about your friendly neighbourhood stalker, you know.

artprepcrap

2006-10-06T01:01:00.000+08:00

i hate it when i stay up late trying to do work and my back aches like i have been standing up for weeks. it makes me feel ooooolllld.

one. more. stupid. day.

then what?

waiting

2006-08-29T23:05:00.000+08:00

scribble of the day

he forgot about me! and i thought we were the start of something special.... beyond romantic relationship and superficial acquaintances... he told me i meant something and i believed it... guess i was just childish and wrong.

somehow i had a premonition it would end this way... but still i chose to believe.
maybe this is what always happens when u believe in fairytales?

now no one will be there comfort me when i cry in the night.....
everything succumbs to lonliness at the end of the day.

you added meaning to 'miles apart' and 'memory'.

This may never start.
We could fall apart.
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.
This may never start.
I'll tear us apart.
Can I be your enemy?
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you hereI'd be your anything.
So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.
This may never start.
Tearing out my heart.
I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.(I'd be your memory)
Feelings disappeared.
Can I be your memory?
So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.
This may never start.
We could fall apartAnd I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
Can I be your memory?

dream

2006-08-29T00:05:00.000+08:00

to mummy and papa:

change and asumptions

2006-08-25T01:12:00.000+08:00

just finished reading someone else's blog. ( i dint link her, i dunno why. reluctance?)
all along i was thinking:

oh dear.
she doesnt have any idea, does she. or maybe she does, maybe its just pride thats keeping her from admitting.

now im not trying to act like im so superior or wad (who knows, maybe im in the same situation too.) but from her blog, the first impression tt i get is obstinate, stuck-up and full of pride. no, she can never be in the wrong. even if she says she is, its right, coz 'humility is a virtue' and admitting ure wrong is right even if u dont think u did anything wrong at all. thats jumping to conclusions, i think.

personally, i dont think she's irritating at all. like i said. our lives dont intersect, she can be a shizophrenic murderer for all that hell cares, it has got little to do with me. but, as far as i see, she's a self-assertive gal with a sense of pride, and thats neither good or bad, right?

oh. i think that's my heck-care attitude that makes everyone think i have attitude problems.

i dont like the way she presents the class. i mean, its not that bad, even if some pple are convinced it is. i can talk to everyone (thats good right) -- and even if u use that childish method of grouping pple up just because they're closer, u might see that (at least for me), i can get along quite well with huilin and huiqi and joyce and gina and hazel and blabla, just to list a few. no stereotypes, discrimination just because of where we all come from or how we fare, but as friends. and the peiwen-and-ruifan thing? i think its stupid to assume that 2 pple are very close just because u see them together a lot. and u all talk about superficiality. HA. the same with the kevinwinstonkellywinnie thingy.

oh dont get me wrong. i like ruifan. i can connect with her in some levels that any other person might not be able to, and i appreciate that a lot. ruifan is an intellectual girl that asks roughly the same questions as i do, and thats quite hard to come by in a friend u know. we talk for hours at KAP on anything under the sun, from religion, philosophy, geniuses and chemistry, to why mcflurry is bad (or good) and how that guy's hair is screwed or something.

pple should try to understand that jc is just not the same as sec sch, u cant compare them at all. now everyone has had 17 (or more) years of different pasts, and they all add up to the person u see in front of you. its quite wrong to expect someone to just throw away their past, forget about it and just bond more with the present. they would so totally have no character and just merge into everyone else, one big unthinking glob of grey slime. neither is it fully correct to keep harping about how good so-and-so was back then, unlike now blablabla and totally neglect the present (here insert cheesy word puns about how the present is a gift).

the way i see it, pple who tend to mention more about the past just like to be near familiar territories, where change is minimal and its absence, reassuring. on the other hand, the pple who dont really talk or think about the past might just happen to have a more pragmatic way of thinking, and are ready to risk changes, and move on.

neither is wrong, but influencing and affecting someone else into thinking the same way, now thats a bit too much (whether that person likes it or not).

p.s. im referring to a whole lot of incidents all lumped up together, but u can assume all u want.
p.p.s. occasionally i think bad grammar is cute. ha.

dreams and paint

2006-08-24T00:10:00.000+08:00

if nothing and no one matters,
then what does?

grades?
life?
(dare i say) DREAMS?

occasionally i see it through the lives of pple that have no intersection with my own.
(do i own a life?)
the pple whose life does intersect with mine, most of the time they dont know what they want. so they do what everyone else does.
am i not one of them.
maybe everyone should just STOP THINKING and be stupid drab grey stones/concrete blocks whatever. then we all wouldnt waste so much time discussing and blogging abt stuff tt we dont really do, or have the guts to do. STOP THINKING ABOUT NOT THINKING. just......, stone.

the crabbytoiletimpauntie told me my painting was good. and i said: NOT REALLY. its wierd when pple suddenly just try to be nice, u know? it was like she was trying to kid herself tt i forgot abt the incident where she barked at me the day before.

" WHY?! THAT (other) TOILET CANNOT USE ARR?!! "
god i was so traumatised i think i'll remember tt scene for a longlonglong time.

oops.
DONT. THINK.
do pw! wr! rpg! (and some other abbreviation among the hundreds that flood our lives. its like some common alien language. wooO. oxymoron. kewwwWL. ha.)

i wna paint the day away! maybe blue or black would be nice.

deathnote

2006-08-20T16:59:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUhC1gNFeQA
coz its cool! mv for deathnote theme song...

nice song..... rahhh i hope deathnote wont come out as bad as the nana movie......
just finished watching NANA. the ending was lousy! like, WHAT ENDING?
AND EVERYONE WAS NOT GOOD LOOKING EXCEPT THE 2 NANAS AND REN.
WAHLAOWAHLAO ESPECIALLY NOBU, DAMN DIFFERENT FRM THE MANGA/ANIME LAHHHHHH.

pity...... i liked him.

fireworks

2006-08-13T10:19:00.000+08:00

have been watching lots of fireworks over the last two weeks....
and i havent taken a single pic of them despite the fact that they were so breathtaking the whole night sky looks like a fantasy scene made up on photoshop...

i got really the best space along the whole stretch of bay on marina, no squeeze, and 90% unobstructed view. but thats not really important.

wads important is that the lesson to be learnt from fireworks is to appreciate every moment for wad it is, and not be overoccupied with the past or future. looking at those nimcompoops trying to take the fireworks lighting up the night sky with their flash cameras(no common sense ar! FLASHERS!), i dont think they will be fully able to appreciate the beauty of the fireworks. shooting up in the air, bursting into a myriad of colours, then fading away within a few seconds..for each of them there's only this little time to display their glory before they die out forever, except in your memory.
shouldnt pple take this little time to absorb the sights and sounds so that they can always store it in their memory?

i dont understand pple.
wads the meaning behind watching the fireworks display through that tiny lcd screen on your camera when u can see the flames dancing in the sky right before ur eyes?
for the people who were with me to witness the sights, thanks for being there by my side. i love you all.
p.s.: check out this link! its cool. haha.

cloud

2006-08-12T08:32:00.000+08:00

im back! after a longlonglong time of being busy and my com being dead.....

have been trying to be 'a goooood girl' the past couple of weeks, enough to not get me in trouble. i do a biiiit of homework! isnt it amazing? WOW! haha.

currently im looking for photos and avatars of cloud strife, coz he was so shuai in the movie shichun got us to watch. yupyup. and i found one where he suspiciously looks something like a cheekopek.... XD
oh no wad will ms lim think? cloud is her fav XD
almost everyone looks so good in the movie la...... i shall resolve to paint people like that. new resolution, yay.

sianz....thats all i wna say for now.... byes!

2006-07-29T23:45:00.000+08:00

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.
You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.
At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

i think some things are not that true. but. oh well. "Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right." maybe. ha. these things are fun to do, then laugh at.

message.

2006-07-24T21:51:00.000+08:00

i heard what you whispered.
i understand.

and yet, i understood nothing.

are you going to hide even further away where no one can ever get to?
people are trying.
not hard enough i guess.
im not going to do anything.
i dont think you want me to, anyway.
i'll keep quiet, and appreciate the look of ur smiles.
people fall in love with that smile.

silly as it is.
im still rooting for you though.
jiayou.
hope you find that someone soon.

high

2006-07-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

SUGAR AND COFFEE HIGH.

omgomgomg.

WHEE~!
ahahha.

damnedgoat

2006-07-18T20:51:00.000+08:00

DAMNED MATHS!
what is SO WRONG WITH THAT GOAT?!

`` -Shichun_ mood swings says:
ms heng wanted to tell u guys that u 2 r in trouble for maths class lol
BeautyIsn'tSuperficial,It'sThePeopleWhoAre ~*http://arch_angelz.blogspot.com*~ says:
HUH WHY
BeautyIsn'tSuperficial,It'sThePeopleWhoAre ~*http://arch_angelz.blogspot.com*~ says:
CANNOT BE EXCUSED FROM SCHOOL AR.
BeautyIsn'tSuperficial,It'sThePeopleWhoAre ~*http://arch_angelz.blogspot.com*~ says:
SHIT MATHS TEACHER.
`` -Shichun_ mood swings says:
its not abt today la!!
`` -Shichun_ mood swings says:
its over the months laaaaaa
BeautyIsn'tSuperficial,It'sThePeopleWhoAre ~*http://arch_angelz.blogspot.com*~ says:
"over the months" has been too widely discussed already, and its not only maths, and my parents ALREADY KNOW, and this is the first time im missing a single class for ONE WHOLE MONTH, SO WHAT IS THE BLOODY PROBLEM WITH THAT PERVERSE GOAT-LOOKING APPARITION
`` -Shichun_ mood swings says:
lmao
BeautyIsn'tSuperficial,It'sThePeopleWhoAre ~*http://arch_angelz.blogspot.com*~ says:
please convey *the above message* to msheng for me.
`` -Shichun_ mood swings says:
u can tell her tml

THIS GAVE ME AN ITCHING URGE TO SCREAM OUT EVERY VULGARITY I KNOW AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE AT THE COMPUTER MONITOR. AND BASH IN THE ABOVE MENTIONED GOATHEAD OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL ITS NOTHING MORE THAN A POOL OF PULP.

having such an idea makes me scared.

YOU reading this, u might think that this reaction is a bit overboard for someone like me who doesnt usually cuss. BUT HELLO>> jc teachers dont usually call parents to say that you've been playing truant (especially when u havent) and tell everyone that ur maths is in trouble, so are you, ure doomed to fail. especially not to someone who is not in school on the pretext of illness.

usually they go: "are you sick?" "what are you down with?" "will you be fine enough to go to school tomorrow?"

NOT
" YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE."

how much trouble do you want to make before you are convinced that you have made me really abhor maths, huh?

and some people wonder why teenagers are rebellious. HA.

oily painting

2006-07-15T13:11:00.000+08:00

BLOODY OIL PAINT!

ALL RIGHT CRAP THAT'S THE LAST STRAW.
pass me the turpentine. I'm waging a war.

are you with me!

getting high on turpentine...

2006-07-13T23:55:00.000+08:00

came up with lots of weird ideas running through my head lately....
this is really cool! cliched, but fun. tts why its always on those IQ online riddles.
guys should always be the ones holding the umbrella, coz theyre taller.
watermelons should really grow on trees.
people like coming up with absurd theories about simple stuff. its really ridiculous, if you really think about it. everything is.
judgement day, huh. i dont believe in religion. because i know how it works.
gp is horrifying, but its still more tolerable than math tutorial.

regret does nothing but obstruct ur view of the future. and ties you down from doing something about the situation. sure, pple have given their views and asked me time and again if this is really what i want, but i was the one who made the final decision.

who says you would miss a place that you spent 2/3 of ur life in daily after you leave it.
you can never miss something that has always been in your heart, because it never left.
all you get is a longing for it to be even closer.
do you understand that? i hope so.
thats how i feel anyway.

there are many others, but wads the point. of posting it and telling everyone.
i understand that some people feel the need to show off and get recognition and assurance frm the pple around them. but does it work in the end when everyone knows what ure up to because theyre guilty of it themselves? maybe.
some things are even more precious when kept to urself, because then you know that it really belongs to you and urself only.
thats how i feel about you~ ^~^ hope that doesnt come out weird though.

r&r

2006-07-05T21:52:00.000+08:00

i declare this blog stagnant until further notice.

i got u for maths! as in the letter! isnt it such a huge blow? haha
i can go be a fortune teller.

for now i will face the wall and reflect.

cooool

2006-07-02T20:34:00.000+08:00

i just realized something cool. dunno if im reallllly sloooow or wad.
these 3 song names are connected!

"Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off"
"But Its Better If You Do"
"I Write Sins, Not Tragedies"

by PANIC! At The Disco... its really interesting... the album is like a whole story on this guy knowing that his girl is cheating on him... heheheheh soooo interesting.^_^

on the run

2006-07-01T12:31:00.000+08:00

im on the run.
im not sure what from.

lately my blog has been wierd... haha im not really sure i understand it myself. oh well. anything. exams gg so far gone i dont feel anything much anymore.

happy birthday to myself, maybe.

2006-06-18T00:59:00.000+08:00

its officially my seventeenth birthday since arnd half an hour ago...

and nobody has wished me anything yet, except for one. well, two, actually, but papa doesnt count, coz its his birthday too.

i COULD go around telling pple and expecting that they'll wish me happybirthday, and most prob they will, its almost like manners... but what's the point, really?

its times like these that i really wna hug my mum and thank her for things tt she has done, but unfortunately for me she's currently somewhere on the other side of asia, having a good time with her girlfriends,

i guess its part and parcel of growing up, where after a certain number of years birthdays are just like normal days, or worse... when the novelty of receiving presents and surprises fades away and, well, u'ld start thinking 'its no big deal.'

it isnt, really, but tt doesnt explain the tears coming out of my eyes.

shucks, i think im ageing prematurely! arent these things tt pple in their middle ages say? -_- and the things i blog, they might be what i was thinking at that point of time, but reading through what ive posted over the past few years, its no wonder pple sort of dislike my blog.

im so negative and pessimistic.... nobody really likes looking at this kinda stuff, they probably know it already frm personal experiences somewhere in the depths of their minds, what they need is a sort of source of hope and inspiration to strive and perservere, and assure themselves that what they're doing is correct.

is it human nature, self-delusion?
(think about this before you answer, else it would end up as a good example, wouldnt it. heh.)

i guess i need some way to convince myself about some things... and yet somewhere deep down, i know im hoping tt it doesnt work...

there ARE good reasons why my blog is titled "xu wei(hypocritical/hypocrite)" you know. but who cares. do YOU? (if you're reading this, and you think you care, why not tag? then I'LD know)

2006-06-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

ar siannnnnnn. holidays are meant to be fun and relaxation and adventures, not lousy reason to slog even harder than normal school days.

I'll hide you in my walls
your body will never be found
I'll wear your skin as a suit
Pretend to be you, your friends will like you more than they used to

Ride The Wings Of Pestilence, From First To Last.

aren't these lines interesting? ha.

affandi

2006-06-06T21:18:00.000+08:00

All the 'isms' like Expressionism, Surrealism, Realism, Abstraction, Modernism and Post Modernism really worry me, because they label an artist,who then enters a cage.

AFFANDI: Yes. The art historians just want to talk about something, but what is in a name actually? Not much.

where the hell are you kartika?

influenced

2006-05-31T10:35:00.000+08:00

"She's Gonna Break Soon" Less Than Jake

[Chorus:]
She's gonna break soon
Gonna break soon
Gonna break soon
She's gonna break soon
Gonna break soon
Gonna break soon
With so many problems in her life it really comes as no surprise
She's gonna break soon
Gonna break soon
She's gonna break

Welcome to her busy dizzy life
Of going out and getting high
And following all the latest trends
While shedding all her oldest friends
It's been weeks worth of weekends
when fake I.D.s and fake passions are her best friends.

[Chorus]

She's been thinkin' wishin' she could hide
From the girls with the comments passing by
It's the boys in bars on Friday night
That replace the emptiness inside
She'll be spending her whole weekend
Faking laughs and faking smiles with her fake friends

[Chorus]
Promises you made back home
Are crumpled like the goodbye notes
And last night's dirty clothes
Were on the floor next to the phone
And it's been disconnected months ago
No calls from your friends back home
You lost your point of view and now
It's got the best of got the best of got the best of you

[Chorus]

jean died. scott died. xavier died. wads left of the x-men lah?!!

LITEBARB

2006-05-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

this was seen on cai's blog. somehow i thought it was very amusing, funny even, to see all the stereotypes... hahaha. i think there's some truth to them (especially the one in bold)...
it might piss off some pple though.ha.

"
Q: How many RJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 4 whole faculties. One fac to design the new bulb,one fac to test it out, one fac to market it and one guy to write a stupid Email about lightbulbs.
Q: How many HCJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The whole school to compete with RJC.
Q: How many VJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The whole school. One to screw it in and the rest to cheer and wave flags and banners to give him/her support.
Q: How many NJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They can study without light.
Q: How many AJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: They're too busy trying to be one of the top 5 JCs.
Q: How many ACJC students does it take to change lightbulb?
A: None. They use all their money to employ YJC to do it for them.
Q: How many YJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Only one teacher to tell them what a lightbulb is in the first place and to demonstrate
Q: How many CJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: They'd prefer it darker
Q: How many JJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Their physics is so bad that they make the male teacher cry.
Q: How many TPJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Would they bother??
Q: How many SAJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They believe in praying for it.
Q: How many NYJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They are still using oil lamps.
Q: How many SRJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Huh, wat litebarb .
Q: How many TJC students does it take to change the lightbulb?
A: None. They think they are very brightalready.
Q: How many PJC students does it take to change the lightbulb?
A: F**K the lightbulb la, the principal willdo something bout it. let's do 300 jumping jacks for not wearing the proper school attire.
Q: How many MI students does it take to change the lightbulb?
A: 100, 1 to hold the lightbulb, 99 to turn the ceiling. (courtesy of some guy, sorry that i forgot who you are)
Q: How many NP students does it take to change the lightbulb?
A: None. Simi si litebarb, can eat one anot? I know my place, don't worry. I'm dumb, go ahead and laugh at me."so what you in good course, still poly what."
"

eyes too tired to open le... but still dun want go slp.... siannnnnnnz... so much art homework la..... wierd stuffs oso... wad curator???? haizzzz i think it would be so fun to mark our varied assessments but its so freaking hard to do..... ms lu has it good, man.

i wanna be an art teacher next time! -_-

we went to national library to discuss project work today.....

i feel sorry for winnie's kids lar.... they'll have the life everyone has always dreamed of... and yet, they'll have no life to speak of. aiyah siannn to post abt it le. hoohoo. han's is BAD. dont eat there.

(winnie and kelly. how nice. XD)

today's word verification: lpxrdq (issit even a word -__- i dont get the point of putting that thing there in the first place)

blogskin

2006-05-26T17:43:00.000+08:00

this is what i do when im bored and have a lot of homework but dont feel like doing and have too many fantasies abt self-made anime blogskins....
one day i will learn to code them. one fine day.

i got my first birthday present le! i love it a lot a lot a lot even though its really nothing much.... ^_^ shall take some pics to show off as soon as i can.... wahhhh its really cool...

god

2006-05-25T21:12:00.000+08:00

i understand why some things never seem to go as we've planned it to, but why isn't it ever so in my favour?

argh!!! where are you now?

2006-05-23T22:30:00.000+08:00

i feel so empty when you're not around....
like my only reason for living is to meet you.

how useless man.

Something Corporate - Watch The Sky (third track in the playlist <-)

I'm lost at sea
The radio is jamming, but they won't find me
I swear it's for the best
And then your frequency is pulling me in closer till I'm home
And I've been up for days, I finally lost my mind,
And then I lost my way
I'm blistered but I'm better
And I'm home
I will crawl
There's things that are worth giving up I know
But I wont let this get me
I will fight
You live the life your're given with the storms outside
And somedays all I do is watch the sky
This room's too small
Its only getting smaller
I'm against the wall
I'm slowly getting taller, here in wonderland
This guilt feels so familiar
And I'm home
I will crawl
There's things that are worth giving up I know
But I wont let this get me
I will fight
You live the life your're given with the storms outside
And somedays all I do is watch the sky
And I think I
I could use a little break
Today was a good day
And i think I
I could use a little break,
But today was a good day
And it's a deep sea
In which i'm floating
And still I sink to think that I must...
Crawl...
There's things that are worth giving up i know
When you can't bear to carry me
I'll fight
You live the life you're given with the storms outside
And somedays all I do is watch the sky
Today was a good day
Today was a good day

jiayou peiwen! buck up you lousy girl. where was the one they seemed to love?

da vinci code

2006-05-22T19:57:00.000+08:00

da vinci code is so not worth watching...

i was like siannnnnnnn throughout.... i hope xmen next week is better man...

the movie like changed so much and added some useless stuff so much so that the two and a half hours were a pain to sit through.... and tom hanks isnt exactly my idea of an attractive intellectual... and his very obvious receding hairline bothered me a lot. the movie actually seems very shallow compared to the book... like how the book had me thinking about the foundation of religion in general, and how anyone could write a bible as long as they had enough pple to believe etcetra etcetra... it just dint happen when i was watching the movie. also the ideas in the movie are presented as too concrete... as facts, even. in the book sophie doesnt know for sure whether she is the real descendant of christ, rite? i like it that way...the ideas are too flat and blatantly stuffed in front of the audience to have any room for thinking in the movie.

AND the literally 'flashing' flashbacks of both sophie's and langdon's past was too abrupt and veryveryvery annoying. and silas' sad past and sophie's times with her grandfather was neglected. if anyone watched the movie without reading the book i doubt they would have the foggiest idea wth was going on lah.

i think if they ever came up with a movie for angels and demons i would go watch just to see if they can screw up good books even further. that was how bad it was. damn disappointed lah. i had been looking forward to it since.....very long ago.

haizzzzzzzzz.

niwaes holidays in a week! yay.

urghhh

2006-05-19T23:09:00.000+08:00

wahhhh damn tired. reallyreallyreally dislike mrchew. not at library at 1230pm = not in school issit? wth. then the 90 % of the school population play truant everyday le lar. (and all the while i was still trying to do the practice questions... i did try okay. just tt zhuangmao helped a LOT. thankx man.)

tell my mum stupid stuff make her worry unduly only. crap lar. dun feel like seeing his perv face ever again.... if that is the FACE OF MATHEMATICS, i dont ever want to touch the lousy subject ever again. like i cant go on and score in maths without him like that.

hope he gets run down by a car or something in an ulu place like lorong halus and paralysed and rot for a few weeks with all the ants and flies and insects coming in a swarm to feast on his body until he finally dies because all his insides have been munched away by them.

he caused me to have bad luck and screwed up everything for these past few days. if anybody thinks that my response is too over the top, try to come and ask wad happened. and then prepare to endure at least 30mins of ranting frm me and ruifan.

wahhhhh.cant wait till holidays man.

(p.s.i dont swear. a lot. i think the most extreme ive gone is 'screwed' and 'damn' and 'freaking'. i dont even use 'wah lao' and all the hokkien vulgarities ive been hearing since young lar. and i wont start using it just on a lousy teacher. kinda disappointing really.)

maniacallaughter

2006-05-18T19:12:00.000+08:00

i just screwed up 2 tests in a day. woots.

pro or not. i actually spent around 10 min (maybe more) stoning at the art room and evelyn and keith and wenshu and xinni and joyce and mabeline and wangmo and karen and shichun and ruifan, thinking of which crap movement had light in it.

classical? duh. fauvism? no. realism? no. neo-classicism? no. cubism? cannot be. german expressionism? wth. abstract expressionism? how to have light la. wad else. no more le!

sux la. should have done the time question. i got so many things to say lor. surrealism--absence of time. impressionism--passage of time. conceptualartshit. futurism--time. everything--time.
arghhhhhhh.

me and my lousy choices.

anyway im so glad its over!!!! ^_^

ohya. me and ruifan think mr chew has this idea that im reallyreally very weak, like i get sick damn easily and when i get sick its always a near-death experience. ho-ho. just because i always parents' letter nvr go sch and bcoz there was this week i nvr go sch bcoz i was really sick and missed ALL the maths tutorials that week. ha.ha.ha.

O.O to think of that, maybe i AM very weak. mr tong said 'how come you always fall sick, are you very weak?' the last time when i said i couldnt run 2.4 because i was sick (and if he force me to run i surely DIE) i passed napfa anyway. who wants to retake la.

so in the end the mrchew-scolding-me-and-ruifan session became more like a mrchew-scolding-ruifan session and then reprimanding me because it was 'on the way'. so unfair to ruifan la. she got soooooo pissed she made up her mind that if she got A for H2 maths common test she'ld straightaway drop to H1, just to spite him. hmmmm. its a good suggestion. can change maths teacher sumore. i will consider tt since i dont wna be a scientist anyway. or a mathematician. it just happens that i learn these subjects relatively easily.can change maths teacher sumore.

i will do reasonably well for my common tests because wangmo ignorantly passed a remark that 'peiwen is stupid'. ha. eat your words man. i may not be very extremely smart but im certainly not stupid. how come everyone in nj has the idea that if u are not a mugger: 1) you have attitude problems 2) you are stupid 3) there is something seriously wrong with you 4)all of the above?

the ignorant are blatantly ignorant that they are so.

( p.s.someone said i had attitude problem! *gasp* i dont even KNOW her! )
(p.p.s. im turning seventeen in exactly one month. soo olddddd.)

2006-05-16T10:16:00.000+08:00

woke up for like 5 mins...

just had the scariest dream in a longlonglong time... im not very sure wad happened but its just the art class pple went on a class trip to somewhere... like an aquarium or museum or something of that sort where there were lots of glass display boxes with some unidentifiable stuff inside.... then suddenly the place was filled up to my waist with water and there were lots of snakes - they were quite small, arnd 70-80cm long maybe, but they were yellow and brown and looked like those huge pythons they carry around the zoo to take photographs.

strangely the pple around dint even seem bothered by the fact that they were soaked in water and snakes. then in the dream, i had this phobia of snakes and i was trying to get out of the place because everyone else was already outside except me and someone else, i think it was jiyue...

and everywhere around there were snakes entangled in each other and hanging just above the water surface.. we just about screamed everytime we turned around the corner just to see these slimy wet creatures with beady, glassy eyes.... then in order to get out we had to duck under the water and swim through the murky water in order to get pass the snakes coz neither one of us wanted to touch them to entangle them and get them out of the way. and guess wad. there were snakes squirming around below the water surface oso.

so after i closed my eyes shut and swam/ paddled through all that muck and got out, i was wet and dirty and trembling at the sight of the digusting snakes and i just ran up to the first person i saw and tightly hugged that someone and started crying like mad. then after that the person started consoling and comforting me because i was still trembling and wierd stuffs happened.....

then i woke up. trembling still. aiyah it was a super wierd dream. since when am i terrified of snakes? but in the dream, i was so genuinely frightened by the creatures even though i knew they were not very big and quite harmless. so much so that when i woke up , i was still trembling...

also for the sake of the art varied assesssment we have to do... i tried thinking back to the dream to sort of know more... i think its only the last few minutes? hours? of ur sleep that u actually are conscious of ur dreams... and that usually in a dream, its not fully a first person or third person view, it changes at times ... like when i saw the snakes it was first person, but after i could see myself hugging someone and at that period of time, my view changed quite fast to and fro. hence the whole perception thing is screwed. as for colour... some of them are true to life (the faces of the pple arent like purple of something) but the surroundings (the things that dont feature too prominently in the dream) are a myriad of colours.

dreams are all representational... nothing about them is abstract at all. but somehow pple tend to use abstract ways to depict them . isnt that wierd.
and all that about your dreams being a reflection of reality? that could be true. but if u dream about what u desire to do subconsciously, does it mean that , to a certain extent, ur dreams are up to u to control?

also, can pple recognize things in dreams even when the surface of that thing is not there? (like i can recognize pple in my dreams even though i dint see their faces or any part of them, but i can say for sure that they are the pple i know) so is the surface actually a demarkation of the thing/person? or does it not matter? (which is a big question because pple actually start recognizing the pple around them by the way they look)

aiyah... loads of questions... no answers.

hmmph

2006-05-10T18:51:00.000+08:00

tired. dont feel like blogging. so there.

i dunno wad i toking

2006-04-30T14:19:00.000+08:00

im a bit sick of all the bad things everyone has been saying about everyone else lately.....

like the backstabbing demeaning mockery 'jian-ness'(how joyce puts it) hypocritical political-like shit that seems to be everywhere.

wad makes things worse is that sometimes when i hear about these stuff i actually feel something for whichever party concerned. i really dislike that....

im training myself to try and be indifferent to the things that dont really concern me... but i dunno if its working.

i want everything to be innocent and fluffy and untainted and simple.
everyone should at least try to go back to that.

no link at all

2006-04-26T13:31:00.000+08:00

i feel damn cold,
i cant feel my fingers and toes anymore.

i presume im having a fever.

but i wont take medicine. coz i did last night and it didn't help at all.

shucks i dont even noe if i got into council.

eating instant noodles at home coz there's no one and im too sick to go out in the pouring rain and im too lazy to get off my butt and go cook something.

shit why do my tops always end up low-cut because im fat?

devianart pple are so pro.... wonder when i'll have pro skills like them.
probably never.
i so wish i had a tablet....

hope i get well soon coz everyone is thinking im faking ill so i wont have to go to school.
i dont blame them.

it did pass my mind before.
i try to be a model student because im good and because model students can pon school occassionally and not be hounded by teachers.

auggy should try it. it works miraculously.
talking abt auggy... jiayou for ur exams k? im sure ur grades are not as bad as u make them to be (actually i dont have any idea) aiyah anyway the main point is, hope u do reasonably well... =)

OHMYGOD THAT WAS THE MOST RANDOM POST I HAVE EVER COME UP WITH.

I AM GETTING A HANG OF NO-LINKINISM. I SHOULD GO BE A DADA-IST LAR.by the way, i think they suck.

if u dint get any of the things mentioned above, u should just shrug ur shoulders, roll ur eyes and say 'wadever' and start clicking the links to go to another blog.

sound advice, right?

feeling down in the dumps

2006-04-20T09:52:00.000+08:00

"More Than Useless" Relient K

I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else doing something that matters
And I'll admit here, while I sit here
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather
Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can't, do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trival, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it
Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless
When I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

doomsday was here. and now its gone.together with me.

2006-04-19T19:56:00.000+08:00

ive never been more skeptical about myself in my whole life.

if there's one thing that ive learned from this all, its that giving a speech not well-prepared in front of the entire school population and the 'principal tt only knows how to build toilets' (according to wangmo) three times in a day and answering the questions tt i kena shot cripples confidence tt took 16+ years to build.

im so tired. in more ways than one. if i dont take a break soon(like now) i will break down and go crazy.

elainehong has witnessed signs of the looming lunacy.

this is not an excuse. im not kidding.

im not saying im not able to cope with all this stuff. i can. i will. im that determined. but im only human, u know. my number might be perfect ten but im not. im trying, and it takes great courage out of anyone who attempts so. most people are smart enough not to try. but not me. im a silly fool who just wants to 'serve with honour'. sheesh. i swear if i hear that cheesy phrase one more time i will go hysterical and run mad around the sch and bashing the person who says that againandagainandagain(if the rules allow me to).

rules cramp my style, wadthehell... thank god for art. it keeps me lunatically sane.

do not underestimate the symbolism of the ugly red tie.

hypocrites?

2006-04-18T22:25:00.000+08:00

i hopped frm joyce's blog to cai's blog to colinandkero's blog... i really having mixed feelings now la... actually i was feeling quite touched tt they really love each other so much and dare to voice it out.... kudos to their courage man... i support them haha.... but im straight... dun misunderstand, pple reading this...

u rarely find two pple so in love in each other at our age, let alone a blog declaring it.

*this has absolutely no link, but i find tt there are a LOT of guys tt like strawberries.hmm. i wonder why.*

wads up with straight guys? they find gays disgusting? is there even a reason why?
this RJ guy was staring at me and wangmo wierd too coz we were sitting quite close during the bus ride coz it was damn cold at the sideand it was raining and momo was resting her head on my shoulder. wad the hell lar. even if i really les oso not with wangmo rite(she only likes old caucasian men LAR), she has a bf oso lar. STARE WAD STARE. POKE your eyes out then u know. why we sit so close u jealous ar. then cuddle up to tt gal next to u lo. bleagh.

actually i oso wasnt tt worked up abt it... so if it sounds so... well, so be it. i have something against anything with a RAFFLES in front. call it prejudice.

i find that there are too many hypocrites in the world, haiz. how many pple actually say things but deep down in their heart they make a mental note to themselves the exact opposite.

i have to make speeches tml. im gna die. there'll be hundreds of pple watching me die. *wootsinmockenthusiasism*

-_-

2006-04-14T18:29:00.000+08:00

someday i'll learn to block out all of this, to run away from it all.

the world would be in silence then.

2006-04-08T15:06:00.000+08:00

yesterday's talentime was GREAT. it was definitely worth the five bucks i paid lar. it was really a pity tt a lot of pple dint go... e LT5 wasnt even full... looked a bit miserable...=p

well after art club i was super duper hungry so me ruifan shichun rushed(in ruifan's context) to e canteen and found tt NONE of the stalls were open cept the drinks stalls -_- so we ate instant noodles, like everyone else was doing. then when it was 7pm we made our way to the LT and planted our butts right in front of e grand piano, 2nd row. then we started discussing how mrs cheng wld most probably NEVER EVER make the LT pro enough to become a stage for musical performances:
1) the wireless mic sucked and screwed up quite a few pple's otherwise good performances.
2) the grand piano (for all the fuss mrs cheng made out of it) was the cheap kind.(yes, the kind dunman high has in the hall backstage, collecting dust)
3) the stage was quite small
4) the seats were not cushioned(duh) dunman audi even beta lar
5) crazy expensive lights tt was 80k for just 3 rows of them
6) dun even have reasonable looking speakers in front

yea then it started with e vocal solos. e 3 of us tawt unanimously that the first guy kind of sucked coz he couldnt really get over his nerves enough to not go out of tune. he had a nice voice, but there was no building up of energy or wad so it was boring. OH. AND KEITH. i didnt really think tt he looks like he can sing BUT HE CAN. haha. it wasnt so obvious during nj superstar becoz he was in a grp, so u can understand why ruifan n me both were quite pleasantly surprised. haha. it wasnt e kind of song i would listen to (Bridge Over Troubled Waters) but he did it nicely. O.O nj is talented lar.it was all really good and he had some really close competition. in the end it was this super POWER gal singing opera-style WITHOUT A MIC, AND LOUD ENUFF TO FILL THE LT who won.her �� is amazing.(for those who dunno wad tt means, its loosely translated as voice quality)

then afterwards it was the group vocals. they are damn cool oso lar. im really easily won over by guys who can do that whole percussion-sound-effects-thingy with only their mouths. i always tawt tt was amazing. oh and there was this all-girls grp who did this really amusing looney song (bubble trouble). they purposely made it all wacky and act-cute... haha the whole LT was laughing at them for their crazy act. i give 'em A+ for courage....

BUT the BANDs category was even more entertaining... amos was really attention-seeking leh. he was in 3 out of the 5 finalist bands lar. ive never seen a more eccentric musician, hahaha. he looked really funny with his 'constipated expression' when he was doing the supersuper tricky guitar solo parts. i thought most of the bands were quite good cept for the first one(coz they had a SUPER POSERRRR vocalist, which,by e way, couldnt sing, which kinda defeats the idea of being a vocalist) AND RUIFAN AND ME(and shichun? mabbe) WERE SO AWED BY AMOS' BLUE GUITAR. it looks and sounds like it costs a bomb lar (and i bet it does.). we were clapping for the mere appearance of the wonderful guitar. we were cheering for the guitar. we were considering setting up a fan club for his guitar. tt's how good it was. ( and all the while shichun was LOL-ing)

i tawt they were mostly pretty good but l8r on after the performances i met meisan and she said tt frm where she was sitting, the drummers sucked. she said some of them were slow by a few beats and some of them missed out some. one even hit the cymbals until it dropped out. HAHA. i was sitting on the other side of the LT and was looking at amos' guitar and the lead guitarists and bassists so much tt i didnt really look at the drummers. they were too far away, so i didnt notice. heez.

then it was the DANCE category. there were only 3 finalists- this china-girl grp of 2 called C.S(chinese society?), then the �� grp Its A Secret and lastly the western dance pple New Crew On the Block. 'C.S' kinda sucked bcoz there was this shorter girl who didnt dance very well. it was supposed to be quite hot but e shorter girl couldnt do this particular shake-butt-chest-out-clenched-fist move(im not in dance, i dunno wad its called). im not in dance, BUT ive been interested in pple dancing long enuff to tell who can dance and who just simply cannot. so she caused the grp to be sucky. so there. they oso had these few lesbian-suggestive moves tt caused a temporary uproar in e LT. sheesh. wads e big deal lar. Secret was quite okay-good bcoz the moves were not really superduperuber difficult, but they were definitely better than the first. actually i had the feeling tt they were banking more on sex-appeal. but they had good grp-coordination so it came out pretty well. our art club senior was in it, haha. she looked chio-er n hotter than on normal days.

New Crew on the Block ABSOLUTELYY ROCKKED. the dance was veryvery well choreographed( in my opinion) and the pple in it(being frm dance) naturally could dance. most of all, DISMAS WAS IN IT. WHOOTS~* i totally idolize dismas lar. he's i-dun-know-how-to-describe-in-words FREAKING PRO. i get easily google-eyed at pple who can dance well, but he is the ultimate. shichun was kinda wondering why ruifan and i were making such a fuss outta him ( we keep saying, watch the guy in white.watch the guy in WHITE.) so i told her tt we've been idolizing him ever since ORIENTATION ONE, lolx. then she was like, ooooh. hahaz.

there was oso this guy in the grp(i dunno who he is) who did like THREE-FOUR CONTINUOUS SOMERSAULTS in the air. it was jaw-dropping awe-inspiring. everyone was like O.O WOW. in fact, their hiphop dance was so good the WHOLE LT went ENCORE.ENCORE.ENCORE.ENCORE. ENCORE.after they were finished. which the lousyy emcees refused to coz the performances were running late(okay they were not lousy, they were quite okay-good, but still. why deny the audience of their rights.)

it was blatant who the winners for the dance category were.

then after all had ended and prizes given out and such, we finally had the encore everyone demanded for. it was good, and i wanted to watch it over and over and over again. encore of an encore of an encore of an encore. i dun care abt e poor guy has to do somersaults again and again and again lar. hehehehe.

kiLLLLL!

2006-04-05T19:20:00.000+08:00

never before have i had a stronger urge to kill someone.

grrrr.

thinking

2006-04-02T16:17:00.001+08:00

just staring at the computer screen thinking abt everything and nothing at once. its really a wierd feeling. like really pondering and thinking deep, thought-provoking thoughts, but if anyone asked me to name it i wouldnt be able to.

does it happen to everyone else. i wonder.

much as i feel wierd saying this. its actually everyone's blogs that keep my mind intellectually active. im not sure how to say this coz my store of vocab is really lacking, but i envy how everyone seems to have thought so carefully abt stuff that happens to them. im not really sure whether i do tt. anyway even if i do im not able to organize them as well as i know some pple can.

thats why sometimes im quite amazed at the ease pple seem to have in voicing out their thoughts (and i realize its the pple who have the tendency to talk to themselves that are really good at this). i realize the agony of most teenagers these days is that they are not able to dictate their own moods. or say wad passes through their brains. its hair-wrenching-frustrating for me actually. but most times, i just cant be bothered enough to do anything abt it other than gripe abt it here. call me lazy. i ignore wad i dont know wad to do abt.

sometimes. i really hate the way i am. some pple tell me that i have my own way of thinking and drawing, i have my own unique style, but issit really so. i dont know. actually i find it much easier to draw my thoughts out, to doodle and scrape and splash paint all over the place, than to type out all these generic, cliched words in random pattern here and try to make some sense outta it. wad pple call "unique style", i just see it as stubborness to do and get wad u want even though the whole world is against it. and wads so good with that?
sometimes im surprised and rather turned off by my superficiality and lack of deep, individual conscious thought. like a bimbo, cept im not pretty. pretending everything's alright and ignoring stuff i dun wna think abt and concerning myself only with things that are trivial and such.

now dont u feel disgusted of me too.
thats wad i mean.

thats why i feel i can really connect with pple who feel not-that-confident of themselves. they might look like devil-may-care and dao and stuff but really are nice pple who have their own very lovable traits.

and im not even sure im capable of that.

anyway, on a lighter note, i was walking home one night and i just managed to spot four veryvery young kittens in the drain! they were so cute and absolutely adorable i felt like i was the luckiest person arnd to have seen them, coz it was quite dark and not many pple would have noticed.

think big-eyed, tiny ball of fluff with cute pointy ears, and multiply it by FOUR!

note: the eyes are like that becoz of the incredibly huge flash the camera made. haha the kittens dint even know wad a flash is so they were quite curious of this light-making-thing, and kept coming back to see.THERE ARE TWO MORE OF THEM INSIDE! =)

after ive been there for a while taking pics of them and stroking their mum(a brown tabby) and dad(which was black), they got sleepy and went back into the drain to curl up and sleep. it was probably safer there too.

vandalism

2006-03-31T21:15:00.000+08:00

ohmahgawd! today went to sch like usual but when i reached instead of the typical law-abiding student muggers mugging and abiding the law and school rules i saw this:

the greatest, seh-est act of vandalism EVER!!!

this coming frm the arguably 2nd muggiest jc in the whole of singapore! so unbelievable RITE!!!!
i couldnt believe my eyes lar. apparently so couldnt e crowd of pple who had gathered there to watch. LOLX.

[edited]and xinni says its a message to hwachong on e opposite side of the road, where e lion is facing. it starts with H. HBK=" HWACHONG BENG KIAS"?
lolx. lamo.

this is wad i did in sch today!

cool rite. haha. i did some doodles on mah ankle too. funfunfun. n i dont mean to be racist but the henna makes mah hand stink like all e herbs e indians pile on. urgh.=p

enrichmentwk?

2006-03-29T19:52:00.000+08:00

well the ubin cycling trip on mon was okay... paddlepaddle like mad to go uphill... then when it was a downhill slope everyone went *WHHEEEE!* it sounds preeetty retarded but actually it was quite fun. think everyone wld have pronounced upper leg muscles by now. or just sore, aching ones. HA. HA.

oh well. pics say a thousand words. these are not very well taken pics, but they serve their purpose hor.

after cycling for like more than two hours straight and gettting all muddy we finally got to eat. so we went to this 'restaurant' and everybody helped ourselves to drinks, and we ordered our food and sat down to wait.

cindy(issit spelled liddat?) frm 06S06 waiting.....

'why is my food not here yet? make me wait so looooooong....'

then more drinks came, and somehow cindy's not that sad anymore, she cheered up!

look at that devious grin lar. she drank too much and became high.

after when we started to eat it was raining, so we got stuck in that place and began to play games. (the kind we play during orientation.yah its lame but its fun.and amusing. and a great way to kill time.) and we took gamebuddy pics!

peckabooni's friend the BROWN UBIN DOG. read winston's blog for more details on how cute the dog is.

notice i look ugly in almost every photo. haiz. why liddat. not photogenic at all.

yupyup. we were actually dismissed at 2 something because of the lousy rain but somehow we got chops for 7hrs worth of 'enrichment'! haha tyco rite =p

today was comparatively muchmuchmuch more productive.... i think e things we make at jewellery making can be taken out and sold lar!

my beloved bangle. i keep looking at it and touching it. its so damn nice lar.

nice earrings rite? heez.

i wld have uploaded more pics if it wasnt for the fact tt photobucket takes a freaking long time to upload large pics. oh well. looking forward to everyday of 'enrichment week'!

haha. i dunneed go sch tml! yaaaaay.

solitude

2006-03-24T19:45:00.000+08:00

im back.
now toking abt sch. i cant stop toking abt it. its like i dont have a life out of sch. which was so not true a few months ago but now its like so me. im a boring person. boohoo.

you walk alone like green day says. you don't take shit from anyone.
you like to be alone.
but sometimes it make you cry because you know it's wrong and deep inside you want someone.

you cry lonely tears.
you wish there was someone who could save you from all your pain.
you might not show ur emotions you keep bottled up inside and are waiting 4 someone
to come and ask if ur ok.
you are nice and maybe quiet most of the time, you might have a fair amount of
friends but you havent really told any of them how you really feel.
So you just keep on living your life... while waiting for someone to come and find you.

just random thoughts and words and a really nice pic.
oh and pple have asked me why my blog is titled xu wei? well its coz i hate and despise hypocritical pple but at the same time i cant help frm being one myself. contradictory right? haha. thats da way i am. not that a lot of pple know.
maybe im hinting to myself that i hate myself.

i dont know.

do you?

2006-03-24T09:50:00.001+08:00

arghhh i dun wna blog! i mean i wna blog! but there's so much to tok abt but i dunno where to start lar....
too many things to write.

yupyup i very long nvr post anything le but STRANGELY there are still some wierd pple who keep coming. and coming.

aiyah. wad can i say. school is quite sian now with nothing much to do but mugmugmug and go for lessons.and now im typing this on amira's laptop in school at THE raintree and its a bit noisy but nice bcoz there are like three guys playing and trying out stuff with their guitars and singing. its quite nice actually. if they ever get pass the first stanza. ITS FOR TALENTIME! wow i just remembered. okay. they shall win.

oh and all my good and nice teachers? they're all gone. wad i have is this lousymaths teacher ER HMM that is making me hate him. apparently he has this wierd idea tt bright yellow polo tee and green pants can match. OW FOR MY EYES. oh wow i gtg for chem now. more l8r.

2006-03-04T18:53:00.000+08:00

today we had massdance-cheers run through and wad-not.
i shall say its FUN.

fun
fun
fun.

haha.

shit.
they say most 2nd intake pple will be very siannnn coz they cant put down the jc they've been to for 2+ months, so most of them will pon.
how cannnnnnn~~~~~??!
ogl oso left like not many. station games hit most badly la... we're only left with a miserable 15-16 pple. THANK GOD there's sai kang.... else orientation 2 surelysurelysurely flipflopplonk one lar. like wads orientation without STATION GAMES RITE? haizzzzzzz. then ee chan i heard not staying in nj lar....wth...not fun...

i seriously cant picture what orientation2 will be like.... haiz
i have nightmares that it will be like onli a few ogls high-ing themselves then all e 2nd intake pple all DEAD coz they leaving some veryvery dear pple behind in the place where so many unforgettable fond memories lie...i will most prob be like that if i had to leave nj and ohsixasstwenty....
shit im oh emotional and dependent.

bangbangbang

2006-03-01T21:01:00.000+08:00

yes pple. if you think you saw me at vj/tj today,

YOU DINT SEE WRONGLY.

haha. yup. i crashed vj today, supposely with winston jianhan xingying. somehow pple dun like me tagging with them, sooooooo.......

i went with chang's class! haha. vj 06S63 is not bad a class... haha. i made MORE new friends today! and im surprised chang told everyone abt SOME particular pple she admires.... (oh yes amira it was supp to be admirable and not amira-ble... lol) but then mabbe not. haha. oooooh chang.... scandalous auntie....
lolx. cant deny im tempted by vj... the feeling there is JUST like dunman... its good.... i feel like i came home today....everyone was like, 'ayy....peiwen....!!! hi!!!' *followedbyfranticwaving* . haha. it was fun.

but on the other hand why would i want to get myself stuck for two more years in yet another dunman high? its contradictory in a way... haha anyway ohsixasstwenty still rocks my sox, i tell u. chang's class is fun and friendly and stuff.... but nothing beats ohsixasstwenty. nothing even comes close man.

ohsixasstwenty is so fun and crazy and mad i wanna introduce all of my frens to these pple! lolx.
i know chang crashing on fri rite? haha you'ld beta do as u said lo....=p

oso i think that vj teach supa slowwww lah.... then i attended lit class again for the first time in almost 5mths... out of touch le lar i tell you. i was so awed when the teacher brought up points that dint come to me.
but their maths and chem notes are like, so childish compared to nj lar. its good, yes, coz can understand easier.... but the big font? thats just degrading lar. haha i dun wna offend anybody.

im pooped. coz after that i went tj to meet up with fayexian and ask for appeal form for chang(which is not available yet)... and then we went walkwalk at parkway.
i cant believe i so long nvr go parkway le.

arghhhhhhhh im super tired i slept on the car back home and got knocked out all the way frm balestier to my home lah.

tml still muz go early for mass dance session. siansiansian....
aiyah actually mass dance is not sian... life is sian... aiyah dunno wad toking me oso.

havent finish poster yet!!! die.... cant come out with a reasonably nice looking one....*bangsheadagainstwall*

bang
bang
bang

like that helps. -_-'

argh.

2006-02-27T11:40:00.000+08:00

i was going to blog abt something.... buthen when i came to the 'createpost' page i suddenly realised that i need to organize my thoughts a little......

buthen they start zooOOOOMZOOOOOOOOMMMMZOOOOOM-ing through my mind as if on purpose. i tried to catch some head or tail of all thats zipping through....

and i failed.

anyway. i dint go to school today for a number of reasons:-
1) im sick of school

2)im sick of turning up for pe on mon even though i dint really turn up for e past few weeks (coz i ponned)and there wasnt 2.4 or wadever but i just dun like being forced to go for it.

3)im sick of staying in sch for like 10 hrs every mon.

4)i dint do art homework (which i have a pile of in my study rm)

5)my sensitive nose is acting up again. i sneezed at least 20 times consecutively just after i woke up at 930 today, probably caused by some invisible unknown particles in the air.

6)my mum lets me stay home.

7) i wna make full use of the 4 days left b4 posting results come out to do wadever i want. (like do tutorials at my own sweet pace and watch inuyasha dvd and read the new manga my sis bought).

8)most importantly i wna be as irresponsible as pple arnd me can allow me to be, b4 everything settles down and i have to go back to being serious and putting in 120% effort into my duties and schoolwk and stuff.

not that i hate putting in effort though. so far the things we do for 2nd orientation rawks. really.

its just that.....

this all feels fake. like in a dream, cept unlike a dream wadever i do now will create consequences in the future.

maybe if i bring my camera with me all e time and take pics to show that this particular event DID happen some time in my life it would help.

i shall try~

anyway i like reading thomas' blog. i dunno why. mabbe its because i really wna know wad goes on in pple's minds.... esp when they can seem happy everyday and have the amazing ability to smile and crap even when they feel like shit.

its amirable.

winston's blog still rocks the most though.

as for mine.... its seriously boring.... nobody can possibly be reading this.....

lolx. reminds me of maintain conciousness by relient k.(i finally bought their cd! it rocks.)
crap. i feel like im talking to the wall.(which in this case is worse than the computer coz at least in the computer u can get some form of response, like if it bu shuang then it crashes on you or something.)

sarangheyo means i love you

whooo wad a long post.oh well. -----*no link*------ i got new speakers! they're like ultra tiny and cute and just nice to bring everywhere!-----*no link*------ im losing it....

cold fingers

2006-02-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

here i am missing he-who-does-want-to-be-named, coz i am seriously used to seeing him online le.

its wierd. (dun worry, i dun have a crush on you or anything similar to that.) just jiayou for ur exams k. yay friends forever omg so cliche

anyway im here to blog abt e council interview coz it was supp to be a big thing in whoever's lives it touched.

pple go in nervous and come out either dazed or shocked or crying. i went in with cold fingers devoid of blood and came out quite in a mood to crap because i spent almost e entire interview laughing at mr seto and myself.

u know e chair overturned on e floor that was supp to be a test of initiative? well i bent down to pick it up coz i wanted to sit on it.... then e chair leg protective thingy juz came out and e chair went bing bang crash on e floor...

i was super embarassed and said ohsorrysorrysorry while some pple in e interviewer's seats started to stifle their laughter or smile or something.

yupyup so it started crappy and i got no time so i'll blog abt it another day. yupyupyup....

now off to slp....zzzzzz....

lol2myself

2006-02-19T17:28:00.000+08:00

i decided to be guai-er a few hours back so now i'll ATTEMPT to research for art..... and i came up with a conclusion---
NEO-CLASSICISM SUCKS. its like only after e playful and naive and totally useless baroque and rococo styles some pple suddenly regret abandoning rationalism and decided to come back to e classics with their tail between their legs.

wth. cant those pple be more creative like e pple who started expressionism or impressionism or romantism? some argue that e pple who started neo-classicism DID add their so-called personal touch... PUUIIII! they just add classicism to their already-present rococo/baroque styles then pple say its NEW?!!!

wads most disgusting is that neo-classicism itself actually got revived even after that--- neo-neo-classicism?
argh... enough of that.

******
i just remembered i have the council interview tml... shit. i havent done any preparation yet.... arrrrrhhh..... nervous already....

******

anyway i had a really bad nite yesterday mainly bcoz i was camping with my family at east coast and SOME (malay) pple just cant go shut up and sleep until arnd 5am in e morn. i dun mean to be racist, but i just dun get why they can play and drink and make noise frm 630pm till 5am.....
like its not hari raya or new year or wad....
yup. so i dint sleep a lot.

then while mee and papa and shan watch tv on tt portable thingy i ran off by myself to blade... it was raining earlier yest so e path was pretty wet and nicely slippery-er.... so i went farfarfarfarfar.....

then after that when e sun set already there was nothing much to do again so i took e mp3 and ran off to sit at e seaside alone....

there was nobody but me and a couple farfaraway and e stars in e sky and e waves and passing planes and ships... so i was pretty much listening to music and night-dreaming at e sea for one hour plus.....

lolx i remember when i heard e song sadie hawkins dance for e first time it ended with: "BABY DO YOU LIKE MY SWEATER?"somehow it seemed super funny (coz i dint expect it) and i just suddenly laughed out loud to myself....
then i immediately spun arnd to see if there was anyone looking at me funnily... hahhaz there was no-one. so i luff at myself lor... a bit mad...

lolx. it was enjoyable. ive never luffed at myself by myself for a super long time le. =p

2006-02-19T10:09:00.000+08:00

awww aint this cute.... four baby animals cuddling together....
esp when some of them would love very much to eat another up when theyre fully grown....

another one frm cuteoverload.com

relatives?

2006-02-19T09:48:00.000+08:00

that day my mum was surprised that i talk to jialin in school. that, as she puts it, "somehow for our year (or generation) we are still quite close and at least can communicate with each other". is that so? actually i always had e idea that pple in nj think its wierd that jialin and i are so closely related but yet not veryvery close (and we dont look alike AT ALL).

mabbe its bacause both jialin and pengjie are super good crappers-- they can strike up a conversation (albeit a lame one) with almost everyone. so when three of us are together there's usually always something to talk abt....

as for LOOKS.... lolx its a bit unfair but even though we're so closely related and the same age and all, jialin is super chio (at least i think so) and pengjie isn't bad looking... so im e odd one out, heh. ALSO both of them are (currently) around the same height and here i am, acting tall and stuff. futhermore both of them are fortunately fit and sporty and unfortunately for me (and whoever my pe teacher is) im far from that. im an INDOORS person.

lalalalalaaa~

then i pointed it out to mum that weixiong and zhichao are quite good friends, and so are jiahui and peixian.....

somehow our year there's 3 of us and 2 of us happpen to be in e same school now so she thinks its a bit different...

no comments on that....

raging hormones?

2006-02-18T13:44:00.000+08:00

auggy IS right....

Relient K is super nice..... haha and its ulu....

im a crappy listener- i listen to everything...lolx.
anyway i think i think too much... everytime i read manga or watch anime or watch a movie or listen to a song i get too emotionally attached to it.... then i go nuts... like Konstantine by Something Corporate.... im still mystified by it.... haha... its super nice to listen to it at night.

ahahahz.... "raging hormones" issit. everyone is using that term now.
aiyah wadever lah. the term reminds me of momo and her obsession with caucasian men that are 'mature'. and of guys aged 15-17 that are super amused with words like 'orgy' or 'orgasm' or 'pornography' or wadever.
that is so not good.

wads wrong with everyone?

they call it puberty. wth. thats a miserably vague word to explain something that manages to stump every single of us and even cause some pple to do things that are so extreme it changes the rest of their lives forever.
fortunately its a PHASE. means it goes away. only for one to regret wad he/she did during that period of time after it does.

life is wierd.
this is my newest favorite song and it will get stuck in my headuntil e next one comes along =p

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been --- Relient K

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind
But I will shy away from the specifics

Cause I dont want you to know where I am
Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been
This is no place to try and live my life

Stop right there
Thats exactly where I lost it
See that line
Where I never should've crossed it
Stop right there
Where I never should've said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to make sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

I talk to absolutely no one
Couldn't keep to myself enough
And the things bottled inside
Have finally begun to create so much pressure
That I'd soon blow up and

I heard the reverberating foosteps
Sinking up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless I got myself together
I would watch me fall apart

And I can't let that happen again
Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been
This is no place to try and live my life

Stop right there
Thats exactly where I lost it
See that line
I never should've crossed it
Stop right there
I never should've said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

Stop right there
Thats exactly where I lost it
See that line
Where I never should've crossed it
Stop right there
Where I never should've said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to make sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me
Who I am hates who I've been
Cause who I've been only ever made me

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to make sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

2006-02-17T13:07:00.000+08:00

Caught in the Act

this looks SO wrong... but yet still ridiculously funny.... lolx
that chihuahua looks damn guilty lar...

i found it at cuteoverload.com. such a blog actually exists. wow.

dream on

2006-02-15T20:50:00.000+08:00

i want a shoulder to lean on when i fall asleep on the bus everyday when i go home frm school.

i want someone to be there when im crying and hating the world and need someone to cry with.

wow. thats my bdae wish for this year!! so simple rite... and so totally impossible....

=P dream on arrrr....

arghhhh fayexian why dun come nj????? i supersuperduper miss u....

muacks~* cya nxt time i siaosiao wna crash TJ.....

until then.... haizzzzzzzzzzzzzz~ go to sleep lar, then dream on....

ms heng

2006-02-13T12:05:00.000+08:00

THIS IS OUR CIVICS TUTOR. LOLX

2006-02-12T10:50:00.000+08:00

i cried my eyes out on fri lah.

my results are stoOpid. like all e subjects i have confidence in, i dint do so well... then most of my lousyy subjects i got better. stoOPid craP.

anyway on fri almost all of ohsixasstwenty pon lessons and went to e students' lounge to crap and do crap stuff.... everyone fighting over taking pics with winston and ms heng( no connection lar) then amused over gross stuff like a soggy pad. eeeeeewwwwwwww.

yupyup so there was this farnie pic taken of victor cowering frm e ever-horrifying sight of a water-logged you-know-what. lolx. it was damn funny and it was good to get 20+ pple laughing b4 they break down frm nervousness caused by o lvl results.

i cant really remember wad happened after that-----

but i know when me winston xinni joyce belinda got to dunmanhigh, we saw a lot of pple there already and e overall o lvl performance posted on the board at e foyer was like WOW.

one quarter of e pple in e sch got 7A1s or more. wth. then half of e pple got 6A1s or more. we're like e best batch in ten years and some pple were so glad we finally managed to thrash rv.

then after questioning mr low abt our grades(he memorised the results of everyone who was in art. freakyyyy...)...

IT WAS THE BIG MOMENT.

so here are my crap grades:-

English=> A1
Chinese=> A1
Combined Humanities=> A2
Geography=> A1
Mathematics=> A2
Additional Mathematics=> A2
Physics=> A2
Chemistry=> A1
Art & Design=> A2
Higher Chinese=> B3

for some pple this is good. for me its crap. okay.
i cried coz i stoOpidly dint get A1s for my maths. not even Emaths, which was SUPPOSED to be one of my better subjects. and i got A2 for ART.(last in class coz everybody got either A1 or A2)

so it sucks. okay. i cried like shit.

sucky coms

2006-02-09T13:00:00.000+08:00

bytzbytzbytzbytz coms suck~

everything on my blog turns out hideously ugly on these lousy black boxes they call com monitors..... stoOpid thing.. i spend loads of time doing stuff for my blog, only to have it turn out like tt!

amira says i nv blog at all so here i am.

wow. e only thing i have in my head now is chobits..... damn nice LAR... so much worth reading than tsubasa... (tsubasa name nice only plot CRAPPY) ahahahz i havent been doing homework for a longlonglonglonglong time and my *toot*orials have been piling up and im drowning in them.... *glupglupglup*

dun tell my parents okieokie? hahaz i can cope OKAY...

by e way if anyone's interested in reading FREE manga on e net check out e new link i put up kkaes~~~~ (its in chinese though) and pple who wna buy naruto manga be warned... it goes up to 293 books(and still counting!!!) bleach oso.... 213 books leh!!!(dun playplay, it'll get u seriously broke de.... =P)

link courtesy of cheena ruifan!!!! lolx.

4A outing!

2006-01-30T12:26:00.000+08:00

im here to blog abt our 4A reunion dinner !!! ahahaz a bit slow but still here nonetheless!!!

yupyup so after e new year celebration on fri (it was nj superstar!!! roman WON! YAY! go s20!) which was quite poorly planned coz it ended up that we JC1s had to stay in e lt and do nothing but stone and listen to pple sing (badly)--- me and xinni and joyce and momo and karen and belinda made our way back to dunmanhigh sitting bus 67 until karen got dizzy....but we were quite high on e way back le toking abt how much xinni and joyce misses canteen food and stuff....

then when we reached there we all split up to find our classes then i went with luckyan chang yingxiu xinhui annong qianwei irene wanqing aggy weijean michelle etc to find lu lalaa and miss fang..... me and chang and yingxiu and xinhui saw ms fang first! we called her outta e staffrm then suddenly whoosh! everyone came, even e seniors frm 2yrs back....

we mobbed ms fang, hahahz.

then we saw mr kiw, looking as strict as ever ,then he was like suddenly so close with our class and started toking stuff abt how dunmanhigh actually was split out from THEchinesehigh etcetc....( nobody knew lar, even my mum who was frm dunman too dint know abt it.....hmm mabbe mr kiw's getting senile... ahahaaz.... )
then we walked around e classrms trying to find some trace of lu lalaa or any teachers who tawt us b4....and we found MRS TAN.... ahahaz so surprised she still can remember 4A.... we like create trouble for her only might as well hurryup forget us...

then i saw xinni and mabelline(long time no see!!! where's my kindaichi??! and i still have ur fushigi yuugi frm eons ago... ahahahaz) and e rest so we just crashed into mrs goh's class and tok crap with her sec 2 students in her class... yadayada... until they lesson over...

fastfoward>>>>>

so in e end it was me yingxiu annong steph(she got nth to do so tag along) evadne qianwei jan chang luckyan irene and KAREN KHOR(damn long nvr see her le, slacker), we went to marina square, was going to catch i not stupid too coz some pple like joshua ang so much.... but no tix so we just shop and loiter arnd till ms fang and winston met us again l8r for dinner at seoul garden..... somehow we were eating eating eating nicely then we heard some noises outside and suddenly evrybody in e whole restaurant ran out to watch fireworks!!!!

then me and chang and luckyan and qianwei a bit loser watch e fireworks frm e reflection in e glass on e side of e building coz we were too lazy to run out to e open space.... ahhahahz it was damn farnie coz l8r ms fang asked wad it was then we say watch REFLECTION of fireworks.... ahahz so loserish lar....

anyway there was quite a lot of 4A pple who went but somehow evryone split up and weijean was pissed? i dunno then we tok crap for a while outside marina sq then we all went home liaoz!

guai kias~
:)

2006-01-23T20:17:00.000+08:00

damn tired sia.......

today when i went to sch i was like going, longlong time no see! to everyone..... ahahhaz apparently i missed quite a lot of stuff but somehow nobody seems to think what they did last week mattered.... so....

i forgot wad i was going to say. oh well.

anyway i havent been buying new manga in a long time le.... sobsobz.... a bit sad coz its like one of e few things in my life i call a favourite pastime... but then mi sis bought a whole lot(like 8books) and i got to read! YAY!^_^

this new shoji manga she bought has a damn farnie storyline lar.... something not unlike e hot chick... this softie guy somehow exchanges bodies with his (quite overbearing, tomboy) crush and they start to questioning their taste in partners... like this gal in his body suddenly realizes she was meant to be a boy since she was born and starts falling in love with and steading her best friend... then when the guy knows he's like broken hearted coz he lost to a GIRL and yadayada....

really crappy lar, but its e kind of manga my sis likes....

we have totally different tastes LAR.

i think im going to buy deathnote tml ba....

2006-01-22T13:49:00.000+08:00

there's art homework??!!!!?!

i shall pretend i dint know....

ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

argghhhhh

2006-01-21T13:11:00.000+08:00

im still coughing -_-///

after 3 days of being cooped at home rotting, i still cough until i puke. bleagh.

who else is sick too? this stoOpid illness is damn contagious lar........ i dont even know who i got it frm..... then my mum even asked me whether i wna go to e doc's again for more medicine and stuff.... lolx. i think if i went back maybe he'ld gimme more mc for e whole of next week......

arrrghhhhhh!

i wanna go out!

somebody go out with me!

dying of boredom at home.............

2006-01-19T20:55:00.000+08:00

when u're at home alone, feeling bored and sick
and have nothing better to do.....

do the YAH cheer!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

N-J-C! we do our best, we always will

to serve, to strive, and not to yield

NJC
ALL THE WAY
ALL THE WAY

N-J-C!!!!

my visit to e doctor!

2006-01-18T20:27:00.000+08:00

ahaha. im in a veryveryvery bad shape.

this morning i went to e doc's after sleeping for like 13 hrs last night.....
while waiting in e queue i was like dozing off.....

then when it was my turn my mom decided to stay outside, so i went in and dr. ang said 'hi,peiwen'. i plonked down on e chair beside and said 'i got fever'.

'oh. cough?running nose?sorethroat?'

i just nodded.

O.O 'all?'
then he pressed down my tongue with e ice-cream stick thingy and asked me to say 'ahh'.

i managed a choked 'ahhhhh', then i heard dr.ang go, 'wah!'
'its that bad, huh.' i said.
then he put e thermometer in my mouth, after which he stood up and looked at e reading. then he said' this doesnt look good.'

it turned out to be 39.1'c.
then he just listened to my heartbeat and asked me if there was sch today. after i nodded he decided to gimme 3 days mc(its THAT bad) and told me to 'duo he shui, jing liang bu yao chu men, okay?'

then i got 4 diff types of medicine for everything, after which i went home and slept until arnd 4pm ba..................

i feel like a pig, hahaz. i slept away almost 3/4 of today...... then some sms woke me up halfway to inform me there's a digital video club meeting on friday frm 4.30 - 6.30pm (like e same time as art club) and another one telling me there's art lesson tml at 1pm and yet another one frm this person who calls him/herself ksa asking how i was, and another one frm karen yeh asking if i was very sick and telling me to get well soon, and i just got a call frm green link telling me there was a meeting tml......

i told everyone imsickandicantgoanywheretoanymeetingcoziwastoldtostayathomei havemctillmonsorryilldefinitelygoforthenextone.....

they were quite understanding and very nice ^_^

im wondering when i should start doing e chem tutorial questions.... has anyone seen it? its like ridiculously easy everytime i finish a question i wonder if i did it wrongly........

sheesh i cant believe i missed cake! bleagh. i wonder if e 06s20 is doing fine with all e things to do and rush out...
i miss u guys already.....=<
ahahaz but i dun think anyone would miss me, rite?

2006-01-10T19:19:00.000+08:00

in school at mass dance 'training' yesterday ive never seen any GUY who dances beta than desmond (issit spelled liddat) in my whole entire life!!!! ohmahgod how often do u get to see guys that can dance the girls' part to every song and STILL manage to look seh?!!! i was like O.O e whole way and saying that to my dance partner jingjie from s08 then he was like: 'wad?wad? which gal dance nice?' ( -_-///) totally not related stuff...... he was very nice and gentle though unlike all those horror story partners wangmo described..... and he was like 'jiayou! jiayou!' all e way and he helped me remember e steps..... veryvery nice but ahahaz i cant help feeling he was a lil bothered by e fact that he was shorter than me....... muahaha....

winston was supposed to be my partner!!! hmmph! we agreed le! then he absconded away with someone else!!!!

then kenneth frm e ogl frm antaios said hi to me!!!! ^_^ i was quite surprised coz i dint think he'ld remember me.... so pleasantly surprised i smiled and waved at him (a bit act cute-ly....on hindsight....) soso he's like the seventh (or issit the eighth?) kenneth i know in my life..... im a bit like collecting kenneths coz there always seems to be a lot of them everywhere....

they say antaios and us frm iryl are supposed to be mortal enemies..... a bit sad coz i always thought antaios was COOL..... but then it could be because they're blue and represented by water....... whereas iryl is FIRE!!!! but i seriously wont mind being friends with antaios, they're quite friendly wad(ogls) arella (represented by air, purple) is FUNKEY!!!! i think so, yupyup... they're our ally clan.... COOL RITE!???!!! we even have ALLIES!

im quite glad our orientation lasts 2 weeks!!! enuff time to play!!!! ohoh i forgot to say amirah and elaine frm my class 06s20 lurrrve anime tooo!!! our class is quite fun except for some erhem* pple who just cant get enthu at all and wont even TRY....

lin rui is the nicest ogl for my class!!!! he got chopsticks for me when i dropped mine even though e stall was like all the way across e canteen and there was damn a lot of pple!! and he was nice enough to ask, but he really went straight away even though i would have said 'its okay i'll go myself'......... arrrrgh so nice!

i still think huiqing is enthu in e wrong way.... wierd way too..... hmmm....

2006-01-10T18:46:00.000+08:00

you dont need to say sorry, coz its not ur fault. really wad. you dint do anything. you think so oso rite.

anyway im fine le. after crying my heart out until i fall asleep, im over my thrashy mood. if anyone has to say sorry its me lor. because you had to be there for me to lash my bad mood at you. IM SORRY-- after i cry finish le it all seems so stoOpid. i'll never ever EVER do it again. some things are beta off left kept to oneself, huh.

i keep forgetting you're sec 3 le......... ahahah dunno wad that means oso....

on hiatus

2006-01-05T21:04:00.000+08:00

ahaha it'll still be here lah..... but i dunno when i'll be able to blog next SOOOOOOO......
tagboard is still working though...... TAG!!!! i dun like ghosts visiting my blog either.

NATIONAL IS DAMN FUN OKAY!!!!!!!! people there study so hard they go*bonkers* and play like mad...... cant say too much about rivervalley pple though...... ahaha shhhhhhhhhh i dint say nuthing......

cyndi's new album is still as sickeningly sweet as ever but somehow i like this new one more than e previous two...... mabbe because e mvs are very japanese-oriented.... ahaha

i quite like cheeeeena pop rock songs ^_^

idunwannagotoschool!!!!!

2005-12-31T19:21:00.000+08:00

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i dun wanna go to school!!!! especially when some people dun need to go school till march.......... arghhhhhh makes me wanna go poly just for that few more months of holiday.......

hmmmmmfph!

i wanna see fayexian again... fayexianfayexianfayexianfayexian im lovesick hurryup come to me huggiehuggiex!

totally feel like crying. bleagh.

ohmahgodImsosickIstartblabberingabouttotallyunrelatedstuff......*sniffsniff*
wonder if they allow mc on e first day of school... LOL

anyway i was thinking whether i should continue working on wkends throughout school term just for extra pocket money...... but dunno whether i can tahan a not ahahahz. still extra money sounds veryveeeeeeery tempting.... how? qianwei has it easier..... she can just work till poly reopens.... sometimes i envy her for being so decisive and knowing wad she wants in her life....
plus she has the guts to make some sacrifices to work towards it...

annong oso very enviable, its like she has a clear view of the path in front of her le..... haizzzzz

wonder when i'll be like that. meanwhile life has little meaning...... let alone death.... haiiiiz

didnt you know, dear, that smiling faces are but a facade?
sometimes if you try hard enough to cover up whats inside with a smile..... maybe..... after a while you can fool even yourself ---and that smile slowly, surely, turns into a sincere one (at least you think) and you become happy, because it gets mirrored back on the faces of people around you....

since it benefits both sides, there's nothing really wrong with that.

wah so cute

2005-12-27T11:43:00.000+08:00

ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

i met my cousins np junior on maplestory.......so farnie (he passed down le lar, dun worry)

ahahahhahahahahahahaahhaah XD

u very cute de leh....... LOL i'll remember that for centuries to come......
dun think it was that funny for u though, was it?

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im supposed to keep it secret so no details

peiqi if u ever see this dun tell pengjie okieokie!!!! dun tell!!! who ask him so mean to pple.....ahhaa

okayokay i'll stop laughing dun beat me up

please be my friend forever!!!!! cute mr grouchy!!!!
^_^

damn glad to have all u pple as my friends de..................................

*sobsob* i'll miss dumb man high.... arghhhh why is everyone going vj!

tell me whyyyyyyyyyyyy

i messed thier quiz up !^_^

2005-12-25T11:26:00.000+08:00

ahahaha i cant believe i got this..... must be a first ......LOL

Who is your dream guy?

Here is the analysis:According to your answers; if you are not kidding, you are too complicated. Sorry, we are unable to offer the analysis. Press Back button on you browser, check ONE question that you were not completely sure and try again with a different answer that you think it would be correct.

then i got this:

Who is your dream guy?

Here is the analysis:He is wild and adventurous. His path is often against the world. He does what he wants when he feels like. His type of girl is quite like him, independent and wise. If you love freedom and willing to risk, go for this guy.

ahahaha.

What type of personality do you have?

Here is the analysis:
Bright and Cheerful

You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with
people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well.

2005-12-25T11:21:00.000+08:00

O.o okay this site is cool.

What's your personality love style?

Here is the analysis:
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

wow quite accurate de.......really.... ahaha mabbe some pple will beg to differ

2005-12-25T11:13:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

eeeeee why so slowwwwww.

2005-12-25T03:51:00.000+08:00

i spent a lot of damn time on this skin and e songs..... but still got some links for e songs not working......

wad the helll.......

i dunno republish e whole long chunk for like 10+ times le......

i want it to be ready for christmas ma.....

now so far i know mermaid by hitomi shimatani is not working( pity, wadda nice song lor)
so is ageha~ by w-inds.........

then i dunno le......

some of time need quite a long time to load (like 2min? 1 min?) so if u really really wna listen to it must be patient lor... one example is change the world by V6.......
ahahaha if u cant wait u can listen to e eng one below..... really wierd coz its wad happens when proper anime get forced into american society.....
but its still okay i guess.

nxt time dun need cd or media player le, juz go my blog.....(heard that fayexian? ahaha LOL)

pple u shld give it a try.....
J-pop is not bad de......................................in some ways beta than mandopop........

^_^

Photobucket

2005-12-25T01:28:00.000+08:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

night

2005-12-18T02:32:00.000+08:00

night is when you get emotional. that is why every night i look forward to the morning when everything can be covered over by the warmth of the sunlight.

in the warmth of the sunlight everyone can see everyone else's face, so no one has the extra time to look deeper into your darkest thoughts, they satisfy themselves with the superficial appearance.

i smile in the sunlight.

erm.....

2005-12-16T10:16:00.000+08:00

i got into my first choice lor.

National JC Science stream.
WOW.

just like that.

wonder if its so easy for everyone else.

it feels wierd lor. like u worry abt it for days then it comes so easily to u. like everything feels fake.

PLASTIC.

pooped

2005-12-15T12:22:00.000+08:00

i cant believe i can work until my legs all break and my voice goes hoarse after saying for at least 50 times in a day 'ohthishpholderisfullymachinewashableandscented andthere'saspecialbufferclothbelowforyoutowipeyourcomputermonitorandyourhpscreen
andifyoupullherethethingvibratesthevibrationisnotbatteryoperatedit'sfullymechanicalsoit
won'tjustdieoutsoactuallythisisquitegoodonyourdesktop'

OR

'thesetotesareallimportedfromjapansothierdesignsarequiteuniquetheyallhaveasidepocket
andpocketsinsideforyoutoputyourstuffandtheycomeintwosizesthebiggersizehasdesignsmore
suitedfortheyoungercustomers'

OR

'thisstuffedpigisfullymachinewashableyoujustputitintothelaundrybagandthrowitintothewashing
machineitisalsograpescentedandmadeoutofthismaterialthatisshortfurandwon'tdropoffifyouwash
itsoit'squitegoodforyoungchildrenespeciallyiftheyareallergictolongfurryanimals'

gee, anyone interested?
PLUS you haveta stand for 12hrs a day, 10am-10pm.

wow.

ewwww.

2005-11-23T18:36:00.000+08:00

ewwww. my lips are peeeeeeeling n cracking. horrible.
im not ever going to go without lipbalm for 3 wks ever again.

oh yeah. and e school combi sucks. for evrything. especially vj, there's only 1 course thats science stream with art!!!!! like its supposed to be a gd school...wad the.... and nj is so flexible its ambiguous, so it doesnt help AT ALL

i saw yen sen at far east todae!!!!! ahahz. quite farnie de. like for primary 5 and 6 we keep being the same height(160.5 at p6, if i nv remember wrongly) then now he's like suddenly way way waaAAAY taller than me.... aiyoh even for me its quite depressing =<

wonder how tall yukai is now.... ahahaz these two pple i'll nv 4get coz we were like veh close buddies in class... n i havent seen yukai since sec 1 LEH!!! aiyoh go to anderson so far then i think we'll nv meet again.....

i think it'll be quite nice to be in e same jc as primary sch frens de.... then we can reminisce about the past.... yupyupyup.

then now im like spending e time i have left to play maple (i met a nice fren! so hao wan) and shopping with chang and not buying anything at all before i'll have to go to work....

pple go buy things from me at tm isetan okay!!!!ahahaz im selling stuffed toys and gifts.

blading is fun when u dont fall

2005-09-27T21:39:00.000+08:00

hahaz wad a fun day it was today.
i think art pple are totally COOL lah. no matter wad the world thinks of them. all(almost) nice and farnie pple, totally great to hang around with anywhere. heck, we can even make the ART ROOM(which i think most pple wont have any idea where it is) a fun place!
somehow pple are pretty normal when they're by themselves in their own classes and lives, but when we get together WIERD things happen and everyone goes mad(is tt good?). i think our VICE PRINCIPAL who pops in sometime and nicely gives us lifts has got soooommmeeethhhing to do with it... haha. i think he totally isnt the image pple have of him when they think of the VP. but i think thats preeetty fine with us....

i dont really like sakuragi, i like the other more seh guy more(i have no idea wad his jap name is). a red-head thingy on e dashboard of a silver car IS pretty strange.

i dont know if i'ld be able 2 sleep later leh. im not really looking forward to tomorrow.

when all else fails, i have pingni's penknife to fall back on.

yupxyupx

2005-09-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

look who's pretty now.

sheesh. im dog tired.....no offense to dogs.

i finally changed my skin! ahahaz.

now wouldnt it be nice if i could change some other stuff as easily.

BAH!
i'll stop being negative.....

the myth damn nice ar... even if most of us were like: poor girl, she hasta pretend 2 be in love with 50+ lao ah pek(jackie chan)..... i think she veh pretty.... very worth watching lehz.
its about this guy having recurrent dreams of this princess.... turns out to be a concubine he was escorting in a past life.... then they fell in love on the way while he(a general) was supposed to bring her back to the palace.........yadayada...

when they were going to reach the palace the princess wanted to commit suicide because she couldnt bring herself to marry this lau pok emperor whom she obviously havent met before, let alone love, just for the sake of her country....

aiyah anyways ah pek chan died during a battle between their own people cause there was something like a mutiny (for a longevity pill, how cliche)... while the princess was forced to live forever because the officials ordered her to test the pill as a mark of love for the king.

before the battle ah pek chan promised her that he would return, but he never got the chance to..... but she carried on waiting, up till the 21st century where he returns as a reincarnate(archeologist).....

but she would rather stay and die in the collapsing cave and wait for the general she made a promise to than leave with this guy who looked like him.....

but the ending was like,

HUH?

wahhh!!!! DAMN GAY!!!! but so nice...

2005-09-02T20:58:00.000+08:00

i bought new comics.
rite in the middle of prelims, WOW.
then i realized just how much i LOVE them.

maybe one day i'ld go open a shop.
so fun.

i dont like to just suddenly think of him. especially when we havent met in dunno how many donkey years.
it makes me feel so superficial. like i'ld only think of him when im having trouble with my life at present.
anyway. thanks for having played a part in my life. dont think i'ld ever forget ^_^.
wherever you are.
please come find me sometime.

excerpt from my diary. dated 020805

2005-08-22T19:24:00.000+08:00

mr chiang's hair is HORRIBLE. he says he dreads coming to our class. i think the feeling's mutual. at least we dont have bad haircuts. well at least not most of us.

he talks as though we'll regret not aceing social studies. BAH.

*followed by ugly drawing of an ugly teacher with sucky hair and huge nostrils*

*and another drawing of someone happily snoozing in his class--KO*

hehz

2005-08-12T22:09:00.000+08:00

i would love to say im going CRAZY wif all the things tt are yet 2 be done.

but that would be cliche. wouldnt it.

its a CRAZE to go mad nowadays. *woots* wad the hell.

2005-07-28T16:53:00.000+08:00

i have such a BORING blog.

coz i always dun getta be online when i have smth to say.

boo.

anyway. wad's all e fuss abt jue dui superstar? i dun think e few episodes i watched were nice.
dun like all e guy's looks. not tt there were no shuai ones. juz tt i dun like.
while jan n irene n evadne n xinhui go all hysterical.

now e book i was reading 2dae, now tt was nice. it was fan ti and quite hard to read after a long time, coz i kept reading e same lines over and over again, but it was damn true to life lor. then i tawt tt gal was damn selfish LAR! onli thinks abt herself. poor bf.

NO SPOILERS (coz of chang, boo.)

while we're still toking abt tt...

2005-07-27T21:58:00.000+08:00

please LAR.
i think those pple who keep harping abt not judging pple by their covers are more likely than not e ugly pple lor.
like if ur really pretty u wont mind things going in ur favor rite? so u wont make noise abt it.
so those pple who look like crap must be e ones making all that noise.

other pple are born pretty, and they can get all e lecherous ah peks drooling all over them you bu shuang issit? so wad if they get a kick outta torturing animals and whipping children in their free time?
they still manage 2 get all e guys and get 2 act helpless and bimbotic all the time, and getting pple falling all over them, eager 2 be of help.

jealous issit? GO PLASTIC SURGERY LAR!! like by saying tt ur prettier on e inside will make u feel less pathetic issit?!!!!

so MEI YOU GU QI!!!!

(above are the mad rantings of an ugly person who otherwise has no say on this. but then this IS my blog.)

2005-07-20T22:27:00.000+08:00

im not a very likeable person.
i agree. im RUDE n LOUD n THINK IM SO GREAT and POPULAR.
plus i have a low EQ. heck, even my sis says tt.

im also damn self centred LOR!!

humans think they're so great.

2005-07-14T22:17:00.000+08:00

human beings are the smartest animals on the face on the earth.

while men carried their dead with a stretcher,
they left a dead cat on the road;

but even if they would bury the cat
they would do it

not because it has a soul

but because it stinks.

bleagh

2005-07-08T16:00:00.000+08:00

what i do is none of your business.
sometimes i wished it was.
sometimes i wished you cared.
sometimes i wished i wasnt so weak and wimpy.
sometimes i wished i dared.

but things always arent the way i wished them to be.
so there.

emily

2005-07-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

suddenly like emily the strange A LOT.
my nxt skin shall be wif her on it. hahaz. finding some frm blogskins le.

she's gothic, black AND loves cats.
need i say more.

2005-07-05T16:55:00.000+08:00

a whole bunch of table critters..... hahaz now i too lazy to type le juz keep posting crappy pics....

act cute ar....

2005-07-04T10:58:00.000+08:00

my cousin....

dun take my picture! i could sue you!!!!!

all right, since u asked so nicely.... but this is all i'ld give you!!!! i want my privacy rights!!!

haHAZ

2005-07-03T13:25:00.000+08:00

http://star-girl.org
erm yeah so wei da... hahaz

http://star-girl.org
heh

http://star-girl.org

like i didnt know already.

this was last seen frm fayexian's blog!!!

wheE

2005-07-01T17:19:00.000+08:00

i voted for LI KE!!!!!
he's good, esp if u dun look at his face. hahaz. (like wad kinda name is li ke)
i tawt competition in dunman high for good looking pple who can sing is getting less and less with each passing year.
bleagh. this year's judges are damn better than last yr's though.
tt doesnt mean they arent blind.
janice is SO MUCH better than zhiwei!! like, HELLO????
almost evryone is better than zhiwei.
he spoiled jiang nan. =<
i wanted pics 4 mah blog! so i went arnd asking for pictures!(for a while)

CHIO pple i saw who obliged:

my best lesbian partner

i photoshoped away fayexian's pimples!!!! (which she got quite a lot of) photoshop is such a miraculous thing!!! fayexian must zhen xi horz!!!

annong and qianwei

nothing much to photoshop! natural mei nus!! hahaz^_^

jeremy

ok this wasnt really voluntary but it was farnie anyway.

hey!

liar.

2005-06-29T17:58:00.000+08:00

evryone studies for money. who doesnt? even if u dun think tt is ur main motive now, sooner or l8r evryone earns according 2 how much they get back aft they study.

although i seriously cant imagine how anyone taking art could be doing it 4 money. like wad can u do, sell ur paintings? even then who would wanna buy frm u lor. xiang de mei. what else could u do other than tt...... take professional nude pics of urself, brushed up with photoshop, then post it in ur blog?

read: go to http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2005/06/sarong_party_gi.php. then u noe wad i toking. seriously.

ju li

2005-06-29T16:56:00.000+08:00

i juz saw e mv 4 ju li by lun jun jie 4 e first time!!!!! so nice.
its like this guy n this swimming athlete break le, and bcoz they met at e swimming pool when they were damn young, (like 5?) he goes there to look 4 her, and 2 try n feel her presence aft she was not around anymore.....
he let himself fall into the pool, and wished she was there 2 laugh at him 4 being silly.......

he loved music, and e piano, almost as much as she loved the water. ever since she was gone, he spent evry thinking moment composing a song for her, all e while flashing back to e times where he spent all aftnoon with her, guiding her note by note, teaching her how to play.

but he did not get 2 see her at the pool, so he played his song on the surface of the water.....

woots

2005-06-24T12:48:00.000+08:00

new column with anime midis!!!! woohooo! i dun mind if ya wanna use but tag me first, kkaes?

oh. my.god.

2005-06-22T14:52:00.000+08:00

doesnt anybody fell like DYING now tt there're FOUR tests nxt wk?
and all the teachers claim THEIR test is scheduled!!!!!
like WAD THE *toot* u want all of us to commit suicide??!!!

not to mention all the subjects tested are like lethally chim and have damn a lot of stuff for us to study..... and ART!!! omg ART!!!!! i cant believe i got myself into this mess.

=<
the only happy thing is tt i downloaded so many ringtones juz bcoz my mi's gprs connection is already paid for. so here u see a bunch of nuts desperately downloading free ringtones. wheEE.

yes im always happy for evryone. wad's wrong? like at least they're spared frm my life. at least they can have a happy ending.

wad the.

2005-06-22T14:12:00.000+08:00

Congratulations pei wen, you are...

'Xia Xue' Wendy Cheng of xiaxue.blogspot.com

You are a goddess/god. You've got the looks, the brains and the body. You have such an irreverent sense of humour, people listen to you religiously and worship the ground you walk on. On the other hand you can also be straightforward, blunt and very very controversial. That has the potential to offend many people, but of course you don't care, you just shoot. In the end, people either love you or hate you. Nothing in between.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?